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You see—and I am addressing the creators of the Balldo when I say "you" here—inserting any kind of phallus into any kind of orifice requires some amount of force or leverage. We use our hips, our core, our arms, etc. to provide the force necessary to perform the penetrative sex that the Balldo is so hyperfixated on. The Balldo is so confident in its assertion that penetration is the only way to have sex that it asks you to strap a hollow silicone dildo to your testicles to prove you agree, and fully expects you to pay $80 for the privilege. Crops tend to deliver a more piercing/stinging sensation, whereas paddles are often referred to as "thuddy." Floggers can be either, depending on the shape and brand. There are sleeves that can heat up, vibrate, pulsate, and simulate anal and oral sex.

Lelo’s Siri 2 is a fine toy, but it’s a bit expensive compared with the Satisfyer Purple Pleasure, which is more streamlined and less gimmicky. We also tested Lelo’s classic hard-plastic Nea 2, which is plenty powerful for its tiny size but does not compare to the We-Vibe Tango and its ultra-intense vibrations. The tiny, egg-shaped Blush Novelties Aria Flutter Tongue is adorable, but we found the Evolved Tongue Tied to be a better overall choice among tongue-style vibrators (see below). While the Luna Ava vibrator is a steal at $30, don’t expect it to replace your Magic Wand anytime soon. We found its vibrations to be more buzzy than rumbly, and the 20 different settings are a nuisance given that there is no back-or-forth button—you have to click through all 20 to return to the one you started with.

We’ve got your new go-to toys with our vibrators, dildos and pulsators—or&nbsp