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And while these sexy gadgets may be taking up space in more and more people’s nightstand drawers nowadays, they’re far from a new thing. In fact, the world’s oldest dildo—which was discovered by German archaeologists—dates back to around 28,000 BC. It measured 8 inches long, and even featured etched rings around the head (not unlike today’s ribbed condoms).
The archaeological record provides evidence of phallic decoration with dots and lines practiced in the European Palaeolithic period, between 28,000 to 11,000 BC. These designs were made on the surface of the penis for identification or ornamental purposes and included scars, holes, and marks intentionally created by prehistoric people. It is unclear where these rituals originated, but they have been performed in France and Eastern Europe. Some of my clients have their toy time in the shower, so the running water masks the noise. Others will play loud music in their room and lock the door, or just wait until the kids are asleep. As a general rule, porous toys shouldn’t be used with more than one partner.
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